Love Letters
by Lion.Lovin.Lamb
Summary: Lily Evans doesn't believe in love. She never has. But when she begins to recieve love letters from a mysterious stranger. Could her mind just be changed? Could she actually be falling in Love?
1. How can I give love

**Happy St Georges Day. Everyone!**

**Ok, so this idea, came to me this morning in the shower. And I felt, I had to write it, especially as it's based on one of my favourite couples & also because I've practically neglected writing Harry Potter fan fiction, in so long, that I felt the burning need to. Originally a one shot, but It became too long, so it's going to be several chapters long. Reviews would be fabulous. Enjoy!**

_How can I give love when I don't know what it is I'm giving? - John Lennon_

I had never wanted to fall in love. In fact, I never even knew what love was. Not really. I was a smart girl. Always the smart girl. Love wasn't real. Not to me. It was just lust. Sexual attraction. Chemistry between two people. I'd been let down too much in my life, to ever believe in love.

My parents, had remained married, remained together, but they didn't love each other. That was clear. Not the sort of love you read about in novels or watched in movies. They had slept in different beds for years. They barely said a word to each other, apart from at dinner. I couldn't expect much else out of them. I'd learned aged 14, that my father had had a seven year affair. My mother never trusted him again. They stayed together for two reasons & two reasons only. Me & Petunia.

Then there was Severus. The closest I had ever got to real love. Our friendship was so much stronger than the average. Could I have been _in_ love with him? I certainly did love him. But be in love, was the question. I had never thought about Severus in that way. But part of me wondered if Severus had felt that way about me. The way he acted, the way he looked at me sometimes, the way he always seemed to be there. It all added up. Of course, that didn't matter know. He had said something, utterly unforgivable. And I could never love some like that.

I dated only at the request of my friends. Mainly Alice. She worried about me. She worried too much. In Alice's world she thought, your life wasn't complete if you were alone. She thought you had to have a man to be dependant on. She was wrong of course. But I did as she said anyway. Most of the boys she set me up with were monotonous & uninteresting. First date material only.

Then there was this one guy. Richard Taylor, his name was. It was last year. My sixth year. He had been, what you'd call the perfect gentleman. He would wait, for me after class & carry my bags. He had that irresistible charm. It was hard for a girl not to fall for. And I did truly believe that I could have been falling in love with him. Of course It was too good to be true. It always is. About six months, into our relationship, I caught him making out with a 3rd year, in his dormitory. A third year. I learnt then I could never trust men.

I've had my fair share of men, ask me out, don't get me wrong. I'm just not interested. Not anymore. I prefer to be alone. It's safer that way.

One person, who found it quite a hobby to ask me out, was James Potter. He loved it. It was attention of course. James Potter, loved the attention. He was probably the most big headed prat, you ever met. I couldn't stand him. He thought of me as a challenge. He didn't have any real feelings to me. It was about as much love, as Richard had felt for me. No, like everything else, I was to James Potter, something that he must win. Not that he was ever going to though.

He'd stopped, all that recently. Stopped entirely, which is strange. Especially for him. I'd never seem James Potter, back down to anything. I was relieved he had finally left me alone. Though I was still suspicious, as to why.

So, I was alone, on a Friday night. I was alone every Friday night, but this one Friday night, I felt particularly lonely. Just hours previous, Frank Longbottom, Alice's boyfriend had proposed to her. Tonight, Alice & my other two friends Kathy & Mia, had gone out to celebrate. I had lied. I had said I had a headache. All, I needed was to be reminded of my obvious loneliness. The girls would spend most of the night talking about boys, even more than usual. It was a wise decision to stay in.

I was sat, propped up near the fire place, in the Gryffindor common room. People had been in & out, but it was a Friday & 11 o'clock at night, so for the most part, I was alone. I was reading a collection of works, by Newt Scamander, for History of Magic. The closest I ever got to reading for fun.

I imagined what it would have been like, if I had attended Alice's party. Probably, even dreadful that I was then, I presumed. But I couldn't be sure. This loneliness, that not only existed physically but mentally, was starting to burn into me. I wondered what it would have been like, If I had forgiven Richard. If we had carried on. Would I have been in Alice's situation?

Could I have had the beautiful white wedding?

It didn't seem possible, that anything like that could ever happen again. I would never trust anyone like that again. It was more than likely I'd end up some lonely old spinster, with all the cats. If anything I had brought it on myself.

I shook, my head. What was I thinking? I didn't want to love. Love, only brought pain, tears & confusion. Loving someone, meant bringing someone into your life. I couldn't do that. I was a loner. And I wanted to be one. Or so I thought.

I began to cry, for numerous reasons, I didn't even know. That's crazy right? I didn't even know why I was crying?

It was no use. I couldn't concentrate. Today had, had me shook up. The tears, just couldn't stop. I decided to go, to bed. I wasn't going to sleep. I wasn't tired what so ever. But I needed to do something, at least. Take a shower, read a book, write to my Mom…something.

I collected my books & my bag & swung it round my shoulder. As I did so, my bag tipped slightly spilling out my potions text book & also a little white piece of paper.

I'm glad that curiosity had got the better of me, otherwise I would have just slipped it back, into my bag, without another thought.

I had never seen it before. It was not like the little post its notes, that I kept, for revision, during class, that had been scattered round my bag, for months. Nor was it like the torn up, screwed up, notes, that James Potter, had since sent me.

No it was on a beautiful ivory card. In the inside it was decorated with little pink roses. It was the sort of card, I'd thought most suited a wedding invitation. It was absolutely beautiful.

But what was more beautiful was the message inside it.

The handwriting wasn't particularly the neatest & there was a few crossings out. But the words, made my heart want to flip inside out. I wondered if at first it was meant for me, but surely written on the outer side, was my name, my full name. 'Lily Rose Evans'

_Love, is such a hard word. Harder than all before it. _

_I promised myself I wouldn't mention the word, until I truly meant it. _

_And now I surely do._

_My heart it pines for only you._

_Words can't explain the way that I feel, for you. _

_For this feeling for me is entirely new. _

_But can't deny this hard desire. _

_It burns inside like a raging fire. _

And now my heart burned like a raging flower. For this stranger, had surely stolen my heart.

**Ok, so that's chapter 1. I'm not sure, how many chapters theirs going to be so far, but it's only going to be a short story, I'm sure. Though you know how carried away I get. The poem, if anyone wants to know, I wrote myself. I thought of using an already written one, but then I thought it wasn't as romantic, as having a note, wrote for you. So anyway hope you liked. Chapter 2 up ASAP. Reviews would be absolutely lovely. Thanks. Lion. Lovin. Lamb xxx**


	2. True love doesn’t come to you

**Chapter 2. Reviews would be lovely. Enjoy!**

_True love doesn't come to you; it has to be inside of you. - Julia Roberts_

I contemplated many ideas, over this whole situation. A joke maybe, an early April fools. It didn't seem possible, for anyone to send something so beautiful & romantic, was that to me. It wasn't surely anyone from the school. I didn't believe so anyway. Hogwarts was full of immature prats & stuck up snobs. This was the sort of poetry, that could give Shakespeare & Hemmingway a run for their money.

I quickly scurried up stairs, making sure that nobody would see it, by hiding it safely in my cloak pocket. The students of Hogwarts wouldn't understand. These wise words, they'd just think it was slushy crap & be a complete embarrassment. No, I thought it best to keep it hidden. I kept it by my side, at all times though. Even as I slept, I tucked it flat underneath my pillow.

When I awoke the next morning, all the girls in my dormitory, were still asleep. And it looked, like they would remain, that way for quite some time. This was perfect. I felt suddenly suspicious, about it all. And anxious too. I didn't want to give any of them a chance of reading it.

I quickly got dressed in my school robes, keeping quiet as not to wake my roommates. I again tucked my note, into a pocket, for safe keeping. This time, my chest pocket, within my cloak. So it could remain, close to my heart.

I read it, as I walked to breakfast. I didn't pay much attention, to the few students that were passing me. It didn't bother me. All that mattered was the note. I paid so much attention, that I didn't realise, walking into a 6 foot 4 Hufflepuff. Unfortunately this 6 foot 4 Hufflepuff happened to be Richard Taylor.

"Watch where you're going you…" I stopped immediately when I noticed who it was.

Richard had always been immensely handsome. It was probably one his more greater attributes. I remember the rumours, that had went round, about his modelling career. Even I had believed at the time that they were true. Richards perfect straight fair hair, angular features & striking blues, had all add up. Although I hated him, with a passion of a thousand suns. I couldn't help stare at his perfect face.

"Lily, my love." He smiled. "Perhaps it is _you_. Who should watch where you are going. Though I do promise, to watch myself when I'm in your presence again next time."

Richard. Always the charmer. That was, what had made me fall for him. His vocabulary was almost as big as his head. Then, it dawned on me, vocabulary - Richard - the note. It all added up. I suddenly felt like such a fool.

"Yeah, well maybe. I'm just gonna…"I tried to move past him, but his tall framed had blocked me.

"You know that attitude of yours, had always been one of your intriguing attributes, love." He said, in his deep voice. I scowled at him.

"Don't call me love. I am not love to you or anyone…" His finger reached my lips then, stopping my words.

"Yes, but you were Lily & you still can be." He moved to reach his arms around me, but I slapped them, away. I wasn't having this conversation. I didn't want to be having this conversation,

"You had your chance Taylor & you blue it remember. Now if you will just let me…" I tried to inch past him again but he wasn't having any of it. I held up my hand to his face, to hit him but he was much quicker & stronger & had already brushed it away. It knocked the note from it.

He noticed the ivory paper, that now lay on the floor. I picked it up, before he could even stifle another thought.

"What's that?" He asked.

"None of your business." I replied. He was smirking, apparently he felt, exactly like it was his business. He reached to grab it from me, but I had already grabbed my wand & was pointing it in his face. He noted this & laughed.

"Feisty one still my dear." He sighed. His hand brushed the back of mine, before walking swiftly away.

Tears started to swell in my eyes. It all did add up. Richard had wrote the note, he couldn't have been more obvious about it. I mean, why else would he have chosen today of all days, to suddenly start talking to me again. I didn't want to believe it though. So I pushed the thought aside. Richard Taylor no matter, how charismatic & chivalrous, he acted, didn't just seem to fit the bill. The poets words, had captured me like a moth to a bright light. Richard had done exactly the opposite. He drove me away.

I sat & reread the note, during breakfast. Any clues? Any signs? But there was nothing. Everything there was seemed to point to Richard. Though I tried not to admit, to myself this fact.

As the room, become more & more packed, It became harder to read the note, without interruption. The hustle & bustle of the great hall, halted my memories.

I looked around the room. Although it seemed unlikely that I could ever have received such a note, from a dirty little school boy. I couldn't rule it out. Not yet anyway. There were very few candidates. I tried to think at least 5th year up boys. I ruled out pretty much all of the slytherins. I doubted any of those would be sending me love letters. Joke or not.

There was a couple of boys, who wrote poetry In Ravenclaw. But as far as I knew, they all had girlfriends, some even had boyfriends.

It seemed to be just getting harder & harder.

To revert my eyes, from possible candidates I returned to looking straight ahead. A clear view of the slytherin table. This was a big mistake.

At that very moment Severus turned to look at me. His dark black eyes, staring into my green ones. The connection was short, but indicated a lot.

Severus of course. I hadn't even thought of it. Maybe my suspicions had been right. Maybe he had thought of us, as something more than just friendship. Maybe…

This time, I didn't feel angry. Though part of me felt I should have been. I felt guilty I couldn't love Severus. I didn't even feel I could like Severus again. There was too much history now. But this letter…this beautiful letter. How was I meant to react to it?

But even Severus didn't seem the type aswell, strangely, as I continued to stare without his know how.

I didn't even notice, the hand waving in front of my face.

"Hello, earth to Evans." He snapped his fingers in front of my face. I awoke from my daze. It was only Potter.

"Huh. What?" I said, stilling trying to catch a glimpse at Severus.

"You, know it's rude to stare Evans." He pointed out. "You looked like you were in a world of your own."

"I'm just…thinking…OK….Potter." I spat, back him. I had better things to do, that waste my time with James Potter.

"Oh, alright Evans, about me I hope." I grinned widely. It made me want to gag. "I love your hair today by the way."

He was starting to annoy me. He had kept up a habit of asking me out for 4 years, then suddenly stopped talking to me & now he had taken to making random statements about my hair. James Potter, was if anything, confusing.

"Loves a hard word." I said. I smiled at the memory of the previous poem.

"The hardest." He whispered. I wasn't sure I was meant to hear it, but I wasn't paying to much attention anyway. My eyes were busy reverting from Richard to Severus.

He hung around me, for a while, uncomfortably especially for James Potter & then walked to meet his friends.

I spent the remainder of lunch, swapping notes in my head, over Severus versus Richard. Both had let me down in the past. Though both in very different ways. It seemed to add up, as to whether either one of them loved me.

On, my way to Transfiguration, I would see Severus again. Only this time, so much close up. The closest he had been in years. We stood & stared at each other for a while. He had noticed my escapade during breakfast. That much was obvious.

"Lil…"He started but he never finished. I heard a shout of his name from a bunch of slytherins. He turned away, without another word.

Giving no clue, as to what to which boy, had sent the note. If it was either of them in the first place. But as things were going, it seemed more & more likely. It was just a matter of which one.

Remus Lupin, approached me just after Severus had. It was a little odd. I wondered what he wanted? Though I had always got on immensely well with Remus. He was never much of a talker. Not for small talk anyway. Which was why, it surprised me, when he started talking about the weather.

"Good Day for February, don't you think." He said.

I looked out to the windows. There were several clouds in the sky, but it was otherwise a blue sky day. I hadn't given it much thought that morning, I was too preoccupied.

"Yeah, yeah I suppose so."

He stood, looking about, twiddling his thumbs. Was he nervous?

"So…um…good night…last night?" he asked.

How on earth would he know about that?I thought. But then I thought the whole school probably knew. Alice had never seemed to grasp the idea of keeping things hush hush. Her personality was much too ostentatious, for that.

"Yeah, I suppose, I stayed in. Heachache. I did my history of magic homework. That was about it." I said.

This cheered him up & he was nodding & smiling & he was now walking off to his friends the marauders.

It took me, a second to realise. I had mentioned my history of magic homework & the moment I had he seemed somewhat happier. My note, had been left in my Newt Scamander book, for history of magic.

Which added a third member to my list. I had never felt or even realised any chemistry between me & Remus. It almost seemed ironic. But again, a little odd. I had always got the impression, off Remus, that he wanted to be friends, for James sake.

This was all starting to get confusing.

Luckily, McGonagall had opened the door to the classroom, before I could really think about. I sat down in my usual spot, next to Alice. She was babbling on, about a party she was going to plan, to Mia's eighteenth or something, like that. I didn't show a speck of interest. Which I guessed was rude, but I had other things on my mind.

As I reached inside my bad, for a quill, I noticed another folded piece of ivory paper, neatly placed between my books. I got it out quickly & easily, trying to avoid showing Alice.

I wasn't disappointed. This 2nd one, was as beautiful as the first.

_Such eyes of Emerald, have captured soul. _

_Filling in my once unknown empty hole. _

_Your ruby red lips. Your scarlet curls. _

_Your beauty, Your indifference, It belongs in a different world._

_Your gentle smile. Which lights up the atmosphere._

_It is like heaven to have you merely near._

_It pains me so much, when I see my girl sad. _

_For when my girls sad. I feel like the whole world has gone bad._

I tucked it back into my bag. I blinked, stopping the forming tears. _My girl_ he had said. _My girl_. I liked the sound of that.

**Ok, so what did you think. I'm guessing it to be a 4 or 5. Maybe 6 shot. Not very long. Especially as it was meant to be a one shot. Anyway hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading. Reviews as always, are absolutely fantastic, if you want to give one. Thanks!**


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